Well Well
Hold on, let me get this straight. When someone's chosen to speak in Rejah City Collaboration, can they say absolutely ''anything''?
Well, the ''next'' speaker better not be Lemonade, because she won't even appreciate what I'm about to say.
And Chalky just said I'm supposed to write her a get-well card. Whoa! Why would I do such a thing?! It's entirely pointless... at least in ''my'' opinion.
Here's the kind of card I'm ''actually'' planning to write her.
Yeah, cards like "sorry about what happened" are soooooo unoriginal. Just think about it for yourself.
Now you're probably wondering, "Why isn't Cubey writing such a card?" Well I can't write it ''now'' - writing is hard for someone armless like me.
Okay ... so I'd better just tell you all.
I'm gonna wait until Chalky thinks she's finally going to have good luck, ''then'' write the card. Then when it comes to midnight, I'll sneak into her house, emptying her breakfast cereal box and putting in frozen lamb and the card. She'll be REALLY unlucky then.
Do you think this plan will work? Because it would be awfully hard for me to hold my laugh...
Yeah, I'd better come up with another plan. But I'll just tell you what happened many years ago. THEN I'll try to come to a decision about the card.
Many years ago...
I was eating frozen yogurt in Halo Pub one day when a pomegranate hit me in the head. It really hurt. And, my frozen yogurt fell on the floor.
That made me so mad. Even though Brownie and Hex didn't mean to do it.
Why should one be allowed to throw pomegranates in the ice cream parlor anyway? Shouldn't that be against the rules??
...that wasn't what I meant to ask. Brownie and Hex went out of line... ''not'' Halo Pub. But I didn't want to ask Dad whether those two girls were stable. He doesn't usually have a good facial expression when I ask him something like that.
(Sometime later, I asked him whether the dentist was stable, and then I had many nightmares that all my teeth would be knocked out. Yeah, I don't like dentists anyway.)
We left the Halo Pub, and I just wanted quiet time to myself. I sat on a bench and started writing various things in my journal.
Unfortunately it started to rain. So Dad and I ran back home.
I really wanted to watch TV, but going from the sublime to the ridiculous, Grape was there watching a show I didn't like.
''How did she even get in the house? Why is she hogging my property? Who invited her here?'' I wanted to rip her throat out and ask, but I couldn't.
Mom explained that since Grape's parents were hanging out with her Italian aunt and uncle, she was hired to babysit her. Which is one thing she ''shouldn't'' have done without my permission!
Grape's presence bothered me, so I went up to my room. I wasted 20 minutes just lying there, thinking about my favorite TV show.
I no longer enjoy that TV show, but somehow I have a feeling that it's a bit underrated.
What's even ''worse'' is that due to the massive rain, Grape's parents couldn't pick her up that day, so she had to sleep over. And she had quite a fuss at dinner, which hurt my ears.
I'm not even questioning how Hex and Brownie got home, because I was still mad at them, albeit also being mad at Grape.
When Mom was offering dessert afterwards, Grape was awfully judgmental.
That's one thing that's hard about life; you need to get used to the habits of others if they're spending time with you. Indeed, all I wanted to do was yell at her, but I couldn't, because my parents were around.
In all this misery, I skipped dessert and went up to my room again. I wrote some more stuff in my journal.
You know, I wish I had arms, so I could write in the journal with my legs under the bed covers. 'Caus OMG, I actually felt cold due to the rain.
And guess what happened after that? I heard ''thunder''! This wasn't a good sign. Rubber's birthday was the next day, and he gave me an invitation to his party. I didn't think I'd be able to make it!
I wanted to call Rubber and ask, but my parents don't let me use the phone unless they want me to. They say that it's because I'm too aggressive on the phone.
After just pondering around a bit, I was put to bed. I was too worried to sleep, because I never told my parents or Grape about the party, so I'd have to get up in time and run through the rain, losing my spirit.
So I thought of sneaking into the kitchen and taking a donut. I waited until I was convinced that everyone was asleep. Then I tip-toed down the stairs, and turned on the kitchen light... only to be freaked out.
I didn't forget that Grape was in the house, but WHY DID SHE HAVE TO SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS IN THE LIVING ROOM? When Rubber came for a sleepover, he was in my room! (So I previously guessed that Grape got the upstairs room which used to belong to my Grandma.)
(Also, why did she have to be bothered by light so much? I wouldn't care if this happened to me...)
I was like, "Now my parents are gonna know about this!" (They don't like it when I sneak into the kitchen in the middle of the night.) I turned all the lights off and rushed back to my room.
I was pretty much restless all night.
Since it took so long for me to fall asleep, I slept all morning, and my parents woke me up for lunch. It was still raining heavily, so I did not like getting out of bed.
Even so, it was my favorite meal, but Grape was eating it faster than me.
After lunch, I just wanted to sleep more, but I also wanted to go to Rubber's party, and it was a ''terribly hard'' decision to make. Fortunately, I got a call from Rubber's parents, saying the party was postponed due to the rain, so I just went back to bed. Unfortunately, I could hear the songs from where Grape was watching my least favorite show.
And worst of all, some time around 3 PM, I wet the bed
! Apparently I haven't been taking good care of my urination all day. I would have been a ''lot'' less worried about it if Grape weren't here.
I tried hard to keep her away from my room so she wouldn't blabber about the stench.
I have had nothing but terrible luck since the day before, when I got hit by a pomegranate, then it rained, then Grape was in my house, and then I wet the bed. I wanted to get revenge. But I couldn't figure out who to get revenge on. No one really caused all this misery.
...Oh, and if you're wondering, I missed the party, because I got in trouble with my parents. You don't want to know what happened at ''that'' time.
Back to today's plans...
REVENGE! That's the perfect idea. Chalky will sure feel sorry that she asked ''me'' to write her a get-well card. Hehehe!
The next time Chalky asks me to do something, I'll do it completely wrong... (well, she probably won't ask it to me individually, but she might say...)
Then when she gets mad, I'll write the card, and tell her it's an apology letter. (Well, it would actually be a letter getting ''her'' to apologize...)
Now, the only way this is possible is that I go over to her house...
Wait, what? Where are you then? - Well, I ''must'' know where she is if she just said that to me. - But I can't find her anywhere near here! This is so weird.
Are you sure you're doing fine? (How can I get her to ask me to do something...?)
Maybe we should, maybe we shouldn't! You know what?! I'M GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE FOR ONCE.
Somewhere with more peace and quiet, which doesn't have yelping people like her. How about...
Perfect! Now why don't I tell you a bit more about my life while we wait?
Several years ago, I met a headbanded boy named Composite who was evidently a scaredy cat. Once time we were at a carnival...
I really wanted to go on that Ferris wheel, and he was so scared about it. Our parents and his brother Function were on errands though, so they told the two of us to stick together at all times.
After arguing about whether we'd go on that Ferris wheel, I finally decided I could just enjoy the ride myself, as long as he promised not to wander anywhere.
But he didn't promise that. As soon as he was out of my eyesight...
...he went somewhere he was ''far'' too young for.
He went into a haunted mirror maze.
He was constantly running away from his red-flashing reflections and trying to escape horrendous sound.
Then he got lost in the maze, and couldn't get out no matter how hard he tried.
Eventually he passed out due to being scared so much.
After getting off the Ferris wheel, I got scared myself because he was gone!
I proceeded to search for him. Who knows where he could be, he could be anywhere!! (I didn't know he was in the haunted mirror maze at that time.) Eventually I went to search for him in the wave pool! I accidentally breathed water up my nose.
And just look at Composite... (''without'' asking where I got this picture from...)
After about an hour, our parents and Function returned. They must have been good detectives, because they eventually found us. And we both got punished because we didn't stick together. At that point I regretted going on that Ferris wheel at all.
Back to today's plans ''again''...
Wait... sticking together... THAT'S IT! That's the ''perfect'' plan! Maybe I should just find Chalky and follow her around wherever she goes. Then she'll know that I'm the speaker of this episode!
Now where is she...??
Okay, maybe it won't work ''just yet'', but the business should start tomorrow morning. So now I'm gonna write the card, and then tomorrow I'll go to her house and follow her around wherever she goes, until she shows some sign of being annoyed by it. Then, I'll throw her the card and leave.
Uh oh. I need to go undercover and find a sharpener. Sharpener from O.M. is a bit large to be used.
Man, I wish there was a stationery store nearby. But I've seen pretty much the entire city. And I can't go home to get a pencil, because if my parents ask me what I'm doing, I'm doomed.
Guess I might as well speak to her orally. To do this, I'll need to get up early tomorrow morning; in that case, she'll probably be asleep in her room, so I'll know where to find her.
The Next Morning...
(yawn) An alarm at 6:30 A.M. Alright. Now her house must be somewhere over...
Oh oops, I forgot. Camera's an early bird in the mornings. I can't execute my plan with ''her'' around; what am I supposed to do!?
I'd better just go home and wait.
Why can't I figure out a way to prank Chalky!? She did say I should write her a get well card.
The problem is, one hot day I drank so much water out of a well, it gave me an illness.
Because of what caused the sickness, the word "well" disturbed me, and thus I rejected many of the cards I've gotten.
Wells should be called "water tunnels" in my opinion. Or maybe, "pre-faucets" because they came before faucets. It's just that the water in them certainly isn't well at all.
Now to come up with a plan to disturb Chalky's day and make her regret everything... my revenge plan won't work, nor will following her around. I guess maybe I'll give her the silent treatment, then she'll-
Wait... CHALKY?
Oh, ''nothing''... hehe, I just...
GREAT! You deserve to be annoyed, after all! When you were speaking to the audiences, you said you needed whatever speaker after you to write you a get well card, but why would I ever write you one!! Tripping over a rock and falling into a mud puddle, that was so funny, I wanna see it again! ''Hope you feel "sorry" for the karma you caused!!''
Whoa... I think I just went too far. Now if she tells Mom and Dad I'm gonna get in trouble. I need to get out of this house. And I need to bring Alfrredo to keep me company.
If you don't know who Alfrredo is, by the way, he's my teddy bear I carry around on rare occasions. He gives me the relaxation I need when I come across the worst things.
Now to get out of the house... without being noticed by my parents...
Where else can I live? I mean, home is pretty much the best place, but I ''can't'' face my parents after saying what I said to Chalky.
Oh what do you know, a donut shop. And what do you know, Brownie's family is here. Good thing there's no sign of Grape anywhere.
After all, donut shops are amazing. Ever wonder who invented the donut? But that is a story for later. Because they do taste great, and that's why I have some at home. It's just that if you eat too many, they make you feel queasy.
Yeah, why should I say anything any more, let's just turn it to the next speaker.
...what, is the next speaker Lemonade? Ehh…